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But he didn’t call until the following week and things went downhill from there.
“He never really said it was because I was a virgin,” Amanda says.
One night they were at his house, making out on the couch, when he asked her, “When’s the last time you had sex? She didn’t know how to answer, and she didn’t really want to. It was like, ‘Oh my God, they’re all going to do this,'” she says.
He acted like a victim, she says four years later, telling her that none of his friends would ever sleep with a virgin, that he’d already slept with two and would never do it again.
(According to the CDC report, 44.4 percent of girls between 15 and 19 had sex by the time they were 17, compared with 35.5 percent of women more than 20 years older who lost their virginity at the same age.) Sure, we have young people who are encouraged to wait until marriage no matter when that might be.
We have born-again virgins restoring their hymens with plastic surgery, teenagers with promise rings and a government that promotes abstinence education.
Of course, being a virgin late in the game is nothing new; but in a hypersexualized culture, in which teenage girls are starting to have sex at progressively younger ages and spin the bottle seems to have been replaced by the blow job, to be a virgin in her mid- to late 20s suddenly seems extreme.
“The culture is getting more and more permission to be sexual at any age,” says Shirley Zussman, a sex therapist in New York.
“It’s almost a directive from the culture: movies, books, magazines, TV programs. I’m washing dishes at a party because I don’t want to be involved in this conversation.'” But it was probably for the best.
“But that was the point when everything shifted.” Some people may think Amanda is unique, maybe even a freak.
But the fact is, there are a surprising number of women — smart, savvy and attractive women — who still haven’t lost their virginity into their 20s or 30s.