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A good first message might look something like the following: "What?!You run marathons but 'movie marathons' is your favorite activity… " A generic greeting, improper grammar, and a shallow pick-up attempt all make this a terrible first message.The reader should be able to tell you are friendly; just keep it casual and polite.If you have a sense of humor, laughter almost always works in your favor.Your first message determines the initial impression you make, and only about one-third of first messages even receive a reply.A common theme of success in sending your message is to be intelligently casual.
Many people using online dating websites are shy, which may explain this.Not only do misspellings and grammatical errors create a poor image, they have been shown to significantly decrease the chances of getting a reply to your first message. The study conducted by Ok Cupid showed that messages containing netspeak were responded to up to 26% less than those written with proper spelling and grammar. First messages should be conversation starters and nothing more.The one exception to this rule was found with terms of laughter, such as , which have actually been shown to increase your chances of receiving a response. Some people, particularly women, are contacted constantly and may not take the time to read through a lengthy message.Warm compliments work well in first messages, but superficial compliments can have the reverse effect.In general, everyone enjoys a compliment; however, when compliments are used to hit on someone, before you have even met the person, they're just creepy.
We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.