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Dan has articulated a decency that I think matters.
He's urged people to be self-aware enough to acknowledge when they're being cheating pieces of shit (CPOS) and has argued for honesty and openness in relationships—even when that openness is hard and scary and you risk upsetting the other person/people you're with.
But long before the duo merged sexuality with spirituality — actually, before they were even born — Conway Twitty was being more blatant about it, singing about exploring a woman's body, while Dolly Parton flat-out asked, "Could I use you for a while?
wenty-five years ago, Savage Love began with the salutation "Hey, Faggot." Dan insisted readers address him this way, claiming the term "in strength and pride." The first column ran with a preface, explaining that it was "written by a queer nationalist." Though early columns lacked the punchy acronyms that later became characteristic of Savage Love, even in the earliest months, readers were asked to counter homophobic comments in other publications with phone calls and letters.
In Savage Love, we found a .6 or .7 and we rounded the fuck up.
Its lesser-known counterpart is the Tea and Sympathy Rule (see Glossary).
Dan says things, sometimes we cheer, sometimes we disagree, maybe there's uproar, and sometimes there's a changing of minds or hearts for any one of us.
Other times we agree to disagree, deciding that what we've made together is well worth the price of admission.
In one Savage Love, Savage (as "Dan Landers") even created a coupon readers could clip out and mail to Ann Landers, telling her, "I'm glad I'm queer.
I wouldn't be straight if you paid me" (or, alternatively, "I'm not queer, but I wish I were"). Younger readers might associate the '80s and '90s with fluorescent clothes and Molly Ringwald movies and early boy bands, but when Savage Love began, it was just five after President Reagan finally identified AIDS as a national public health priority.
He calls people out on their BS (see, for example, the HTHs) and shows homophobic politicians that turnabout is fair play. ) Of course, Savage Love has never been a place for coddling or kumbaya.