Pace of online dating Adult dating single woman
Pathology is discerned over time by watching for a pattern of behaviors.
Your experience with one pathological will help you know the behaviors and pattern however, if you do not give yourself time you will NOT see it.
When it comes to discerning if your potential date is pathological you will only be able to do that if you remain in control and you control the pace. You knew the first time around too but he was better at being a pathological.
You knew the first time around but he moved faster and moved with an intensity that was meant to overwhelm you.
You hear the talk in your head that says “he must really care about me because he wants to share every moment with me.” The problem with pathology is this intensity in the early phase takes away your ability to “feel” the danger.
The intensity blinds you making it nearly impossible to see the boundary violations, see the tests that you are being put through, see that the acts of “love” are really fantasy development.
It is a complicated issue, as are most of the recovery issues related to pathological relationships.
Those are all neurochemistry shifts you cannot control.
Sex means that your mind and your beliefs about the relationship will change.
In this day and age, slowing down is not really part of our lives. Technology makes things so easy and allows for quick, direct (sometimes even intense) communication.
We are often under pressure to move fast in relationships,having put off “love” for career.
The very first thing that happens in a pathological relationship is that you are overwhelmed. They love-bomb, they challenge your “no’s,” they show up unannounced, they come along just because, or after you tell them that you have plans with friends they send text after text.