Two reasons invalidating legislature
We have been conditioned to think that invalidation is "normal." Indeed, it is extremely common, but it is certainly not healthy. His wife was there to meet us so she could drive us back up to the top of the hill. As the four of us were standing there a woman named Sue came up with a big smile on her face. One day I expect there will be research which proves that children who did not feel understood by their parents, teachers, parents' friends, etc. It is not a right, it is not something nice to have. When our needs go unmet one incident at a time, for years and years, we and society all suffer. I wondered if her boss told her that if she left, she couldn't come back. As I waited, small signals from her caused me to feel even more discouraged.
I have also heard them say things like: "He cries at the drop of a hat." One teacher said "When she starts to cry, I just ignore her and eventually she stops." Another said, "When one kid's crying is disrupting the lesson, I tell them to go cry in the hall till they can pull themselves back together again."When I am worried about something and I tell someone who is involved in the situation and they say "Don't worry," I actually feel more worried. She gave a warm hello to the couple, then asked the boy, "How's school, mate? What's worse is that when he gave them a golden opportunity to understand him and his world, he was completely invalidated, then completely ignored. She seemed as athletic as the father, which makes sense of course. Again I feel guilty because I did not say anything. I say this one incident says a lot about their parenting style and about how children are psychologically invalidated every day. are among the most self-destructive or socially destructive adults. Last night I went to visit someone while she was at work. Then she seemed to notice my mood and asked me what I was thinking.
I grew up with a single mom who read and shared self-help books.They were taught at an early age that their interpretations of and feelings about the things around them were bad and wrong. To me that is like telling a fish not to swim so much or an artist not to draw so much. I know there are many ways other people try not to think so much.They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed. They distract themselves with TV, movies, music, shopping, sports, religion, drugs, alcohol etc. Those things don't help me find answers to my questions.When we are attacked, our survival instinct tells us to defend ourselves either through withdrawal or counter-attack. Her father was an alcoholic and her parents were divorced when she was 17.Repeated withdrawal, though, tends to decrease our self-confidence and lead to a sense of powerlessness and depression. Her mother probably tried to deal with her children's unhappiness by saying things like "Don't think so much" and "Don't look so sad." Her mother probably felt responsible and powerless to help them feel better.